Just a Glass or Two of Wine
by GreenEyesNM
Summary: It's been two days since CIA traitor Sophia Turner nearly killed Beckett & Castle. Castle is struggling with the betrayal by someone he trusted, and Kate must control her own feelings and be there to support her partner and friend. And they're both losing sleep over it. What could go wrong if they talked over dinner at her place instead of a restaurant?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Another story that has been rattling around in my computer for quite a while and I'm still trying to find time get back into writing. Life is still getting in the way, and I'm still very rusty at it. As with other stories, these were started around the time I watched various episodes, so they don't mesh with the things that happened later in the show.**

**This is a what could have happened somewhere just after Linchpin (4.16) and has spoilers for that episode.**

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**Just a Glass or Two of Wine (Chapter 1)**

Kate Beckett shifted in her sleep. She was warm and comfortable and so very tired, but a strand of hair had fallen across her face, and she reached to brush it back. No, she tried to reach but something kept her from moving her hand. Something that felt like…

_Oh no!_ Her eyes flew open.

_What? How?! _

She closed her eyes tightly.

Opened them again, and nothing had changed.

She fought the fog of sleep to try to think how she'd gotten herself in this… this predicament. In the dim light, she could see the familiar shape of her living room window, one end of her coffee table with an empty wine glass near the edge, and that she was leaning up against Castle sleeping with her head on his shoulder! He was leaning back into the corner of her couch with his legs going diagonally across to her coffee table. And she was more-or-less curled up in the "V" formed by his body and the back of the couch. All her mind could do was keep offering up the fact that somehow she was there with her head on his shoulder.

She gasped, then involuntarily tried to cover her mouth out of fear of waking him. But her hand was still stuck. Still she struggled for complete wakefulness, some part of her sleepily trying to convince herself that she was still dreaming. Her eyes darted right and left trying to understand why she couldn't move her hand, and she realized that her hand was on Castle's stomach and his hand was across her wrist and hand. Her eyes widened with the now fully awake realization that this was no dream.

_Oh, God! If he wakes up and finds me like this, I'll never hear the end of it! _ She just knew the sort of oblique remarks he would make at work, with the pretense of innocence, just daring her to react or blush so that Ryan or Esposito would ask questions. And when they were alone, he was bound to make comments about sleeping together. And he'd be wearing that oh-so-maddening smug look on his face that he got when he was trying to get a rise out of her, or trying to be overly suggestive about the two of them...

A surge of panicked adrenaline coursed through her and she tried to sit up and became aware of his left arm wrapped securely around her with his hand near her elbow. She wasn't just next to him; she was sleeping in the crook of his arm!

_How did I let this happen? I have to move before he wakes up_! She cautiously slid her left hand out from under his, freeing up her forearm, but as she did, she felt his other arm tighten around her a bit. _Oh no! Is he awake?!_

Kate stayed still for a minute, trying desperately to calm her breathing and hoping that he couldn't hear the pounding of her heart that seemed so loud to her. There had been no other indication that he might be awake, so she finally cautiously raised her head just a bit and took stock of the situation.

Recognizing that there really was no way she could get any distance between them without waking him, she finally dared to look up at his face to make sure he really was still asleep anyway. Thankfully, his eyes were still closed and his face was relaxed. Kate breathed a sigh of relief.

_But what do I do now? Move and wake him up? What do I say?! What if he thinks this was more than an accident? _The last thought nearly made her roll her eyes. How could she even think he'd believe that? She knew she'd been holding him at arm's length, especially since the day she was shot. But he'd still accuse her of doing it on purpose, partly because that was his way of flirting with her and letting her know that he was still waiting for her to be ready. And partly because he took perverse enjoyment in making her uncomfortable.

How did they end up this way, anyway? They'd both been exhausted from lack of sleep and had apparently fallen asleep while watching the DVD that Castle had selected off her shelf. It wouldn't have helped any that once the DVD finished her TV would have shut off with no input, leaving them in a dim room with only light from over her kitchen sink filtering through the apartment.

_What do I do? I should just move and get it over with. But he didn't sleep at all the last two nights and not much the one before that._ As much as she wanted to get this over with, she also hated to wake him. He did need the sleep badly.

She glanced up at his face once again, biting her lip unconsciously as she tried to decide what to do. She spent a moment trying to decide, and felt suddenly self-conscious, realizing that she was sitting there gazing at him as he slept. Her heart skipped a beat... She really did care about him so much and couldn't imagine her life anymore without him in it, and yet he'd almost died two days ago. Isn't this what she'd been working towards all this time in therapy? Getting past the fear of being hurt by getting close to someone again and being able to be open to a real relationship? And though she'd tried to deny it even to herself for a while, specifically a relationship with Castle? Just being able to be in his arms? Well, ok, this wasn't quite the same as all that… she wasn't quite there yet. And Castle wasn't even awake, so it hardly counted as a step forward.

_But I am in his arms. And it feels nice. It's going to be awkward when he wakes up, anywa_y. She brushed away good sense with an attempt at logic. What would it hurt if she just let him sleep and enjoyed this feeling? He was still asleep and wouldn't know she'd been awake now, she reasoned. She pushed the nagging feeling that this was a bad idea and she shouldn't be making senseless decisions when she was half-awake to the back of her mind.

Kate smiled a small, secret smile and gently laid her head back down on his shoulder and slowly, carefully put her arm back down, this time reaching across him to wrap her arm across his waist in a gentle embrace.

Above her head, Castle's eyes remained closed, but the corners of his mouth curved ever-so-slightly upward.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - I hope people don't mind stories with the first chapter being a flash-forward and then the story picking up some hours before that. I felt like that really worked best for this story. (Update on 4-15: Fixed an error in the story and a typo.)

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**Just a Glass or Two of Wine (Chapter 2)**

16 hours earlier:

Kate stifled a yawn and stretched her arms underneath her desk, trying to hide her fatigue from any eyes that might be looking her way. She was glad that it was Friday. Not that she had plans for anything special; she just needed to be away from the precinct for a couple days. Both to get perspective back, and to get away from the occasional glares and frowns she was still getting from Captain Gates and Javier Esposito.

Last night, she'd done something she'd only done a few times in all these months since that awful week when Roy Montgomery had died and she'd been shot. She took a sleeping pill.

Her doctor and counselor both kept telling her in the beginning that there was no shame in using the sleeping pills and that sleep would help her heal, both physically and psychologically. But to her, it was a sign of weakness. She needed to get through all that on her own.

Counseling had helped the once frequent nightmares of that week recede, though she still had other work to do.

But last night was different, and she'd reluctantly accepted that sleep wasn't going to come on its own.

Even awake, the events of two days before still haunted her. Kate could still hear the gunshot and her own scream echoing in her head. CIA agent turned spy Sophia Turner had turned on her and Castle and had them both on their knees to execute them. After taunting Castle because they'd once had a relationship, she put her gun at Castle's head and cocked her gun.

Then there was the terrible sound of Kate's own scream mingled with a gunshot, all the breath went out of her and a body fell next to her. In that split second when she thought she had lost Castle, before realizing that it was Sophia who had been shot, she felt as if her heart had been torn in two.

And for the last two nights the nightmares returned with a vengeance.

Not only her own nightmares of being shot and the hellish time after that when she was aware of people working on her, cutting into her and not being able to breathe. But this time the dreams mingled with dreams of Sophia shooting Castle and him bleeding out on the floor next to her as Sophia turned the gun on her.

She'd struggled through the first night after it had all happened. But then last night, when the nightmares intensified and morphed together and she could see Sophia behind the sniper's rifle in the cemetery aiming at Castle, she'd finally gotten up and taken the sleeping pill. It hadn't helped much, especially since it had been late when she finally took it. Somehow this experience had been much more difficult to cope with afterward than seeing the explosion at the bank when Castle and his mother were two of the hostages inside.

After only a few hours of poor sleep for a second night, she still felt ragged and ready to be away from the precinct for the weekend. Captain Gates wasn't about to forgive Kate any time soon for the Chief of Detectives authorizing her and even Castle to work on the Classified CIA case without Gates being privileged to know what they were working on. On the other hand, even though Esposito was still a bit miffed with her, he'd get over his annoyance quickly.

A smile played on Kate's lips as she remembered Javi nearly ranting about how he had to try to pull her department car up from the depths of the water, but he still wasn't allowed to know how Kate, Castle and the car had all ended up down there. And worse why he, someone who had served proudly in the Army Special Forces, wasn't privileged to the classified information, yet "Writer Boy" got to be fully involved in the case. He'd stalked away for a few paces, then turned around and looked her in the eye and told her with feeling how glad he was that she was ok, then finished stalking off. She'd been too traumatized and wet at the time, but now every time she thought about that she wanted to laugh. It was a bright spot in a very dark week.

"Good morning!" Castle broke into her thoughts and set a cup of coffee down in front of her, and asked "Something funny?"

She gave a non-committal shrug, and her eyebrows furrowed just slightly. He sounded…perky. Castle might be cheerful, energetic, or even cocky in the morning. But never what she would describe as _perky_. And definitely not something she expected after the distressing day he'd had just two days ago when she last saw him. Perky seemed no more convincing on him than it did on a waitress trying too hard for a good tip.

"Castle, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were taking the rest of the week off to help your mother redecorate." Kate had been a bit surprised when he'd told her that after the CIA debriefing two days ago, but she thought he was making an excuse to get away from everything that happened and just spend some time with his family. She picked up the coffee and held it up with a smile, "And thanks, I really needed this."

Though he always acknowledged her thanks for morning coffee with at least a smile, this morning, he didn't even seem to register that she'd said anything.

"Oh, you know how my mother is. She changed her mind half a dozen times and didn't like my ideas, so I thought I might as well come in," he explained distractedly, looking downward at the coffee cup in her hand rather than directly at her when he spoke. He looked like he was about to say something else, but his voice trailed off.

He glanced behind him at the murder board, and seemed at a loss when he found it empty.

"No new case?" He glanced at his chair next to her desk as he asked, then back at the board as though hopeful something might have appeared in the brief second he'd turned his back on it.

"Thankfully, no..." She hesitated and then asked, "Castle… are you ok?"

"Couldn't be better!" Castle forced a cheery smile and glanced towards Ryan and Esposito's desks as he spoke, and now Kate could see uncharacteristic dark circles under his eyes. And several spots where he'd missed during an apparently haphazard job of shaving. He never did that. He was either immaculately shaven or a bit scruffy with a day or two of razor stubble, the latter something he didn't do nearly often enough these days, she mused. She jerked her mind away from that errant thought, hoping he didn't notice the slight pink tinge she was sure was coloring her cheeks. Her hand involuntarily rose to touch the warmth on her cheek.

"Are you sure? You look…" The concern in her voice was genuine.

"I'm sure. Hey, it looks like you're stuck doing paperwork. And it looks like Ryan and Esposito are about to head out somewhere. I'm going to go see if I can ride along with them…" He was speaking a mile a minute, and turned away before she could say anything more.

Kate cast a worried look in his direction. She could see that he was far from ok. She'd known two days ago that he was pretending to take it all in stride during the CIA debriefing and when she talked to him afterward. But she'd bought into the lie and the hope that the time with his family would help. It was wrong, but the truth was that she herself wasn't ok, and she didn't think she'd have held up if she'd tried to talk to him about it and she was glad he wanted to be away with his family.

And yet, at the same time, she'd felt like she never wanted to let him out of her sight again.

Castle had been so stunned and bewildered after Sophia had tried to kill them. They hadn't really talked much afterwards, there wasn't privacy and she couldn't have found the right thing to say, anyway. Her own feelings were raw enough just then that she was afraid she'd let her defenses down if she'd tried to say anything to comfort him. She was still reeling from hearing the gunshot and believing she'd lost him without ever being able to tell him how she felt.

She was still reeling from the realization that she WANTED him to know how she felt.

It was confusing to her. All those things she'd worked through in counseling with Dr. Burke and all the work she'd done herself to be able to get herself back to living in the present and even looking towards the future and still she'd kept her feelings walled off. So, how could it have It had taken that gunshot for all the feelings she'd been holding back to engulf her?

And what now? Here she was, suddenly ridiculously aware of what everyone else had known for ages. And what if he wasn't still interested after she'd been shutting him out for so many months since she was shot? Just thinking about it made her feel like an insecure schoolgirl.

So, she did what she did best as a cop. She compartmentalized. Years of experience taught every homicide detective that you had to keep your emotions separate from the work at hand to avoid getting mired in the grief of every victim you investigated. So pushing personal feelings aside was second nature. This wasn't the right time to think about this.

Now, two days after it happened, she had her emotions (mostly) in check. This hadn't changed that Castle was her partner and her close friend and she'd come close to losing him. And for all he'd been supportive of her when she'd needed it, so far she'd come up short on doing that for him, even feeling relieved when he'd wanted to spend a couple days with his family and she wouldn't have to deal with it. Right now it was time to be the friend he needed.

Even though he'd had a number of close calls while working with her, this was so different – he must feel so betrayed. No wonder he looked like he'd hardly slept. This was one time he couldn't talk to his mother or Alexis about what had happened, since everything had been classified. And his own sense of pride wouldn't allow him to ask for help, she felt sure.

She needed to give him an opening to talk about what happened without pressuring him. It should be easy to talk him into going to the place around the corner for a burger after work. They both liked the burgers there, and hopefully he'd open up about Sophia to her over a burger and a beer.

With that decision made, she felt a bit of renewed energy and dug back into her paperwork.

A/N - The next chapter will be sometime within the next week… please review, I'd appreciate the feedback and constructive suggestions!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - I really apologize for the delay in updating this story. I had the best of intentions, but we had one of hubby's parents in the hospital for two and a half weeks followed immediately by one of my parents being in the hospital for two and a half weeks, so I was unable to spend time on this. Everyone is doing much better, but I anticipate it will be about 10 days to the next update.**

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**Just a Glass or Two of Wine (Chapter 3)**

Kate glanced idly at the clock. What a long day this had been! She was just finishing up paperwork on a cold case that Captain Gates asked her to do, in part, she suspected, as punishment because Kate had been unable to write up an incident report on her car being submerged or anything else from the classified CIA work. Hopefully, she'd get over that soon.

Ryan, Esposito, and Castle still hadn't returned and it had been hours. She wondered if Castle was still with them or if he'd gone straight home since it was approaching the end of the day. As if in reply to her thoughts, the elevator doors opened and the trio stepped out. Ryan and Esposito headed for their desks, while Castle turned at the break room door.

Esposito glanced towards the break room as he set a folder down on his desk, then strode towards Beckett. "What's going on with him?" He nodded in the direction of the break room. "Writer Boy has been practically mainlining caffeine today, and he dodges questions about it. Does this still have something to do with your "classified" case?" He made air-quotes, then crossed his arms and gave her that mock-peeved look that he was so good at.

"Come on, Javi. Give it a rest, ok?"

He softened. "You know I'm just yanking your chain. But Castle really has been drinking coffee practically non-stop and he's just not himself today. Something's going on."

Beckett brushed a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, and looked from Esposito to the break room door and back again. "Thanks, Javi. I'll talk to him. I'd better stop him before he makes himself a double espresso…"

As she approached the break room, Kate could see the ready light on the espresso machine come on. Castle was standing ready with cup in hand. She ignored the butterflies she unexpectedly felt in her stomach, straightened her leather jacket and walked in with a smile.

"I think maybe you've had enough caffeine for one day." With her right hand, she reached for the cup and Castle's hands before he placed the cup under the nozzle; with her left, she turned the machine off.

"What?! No!" The "o" in no was long and protracted the way he always did when he tried to deny something that he was probably guilty of. Usually it was a trait that was equal parts endearing and annoying, but now it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself as well.

"According to Esposito, you may be responsible for a coffee shortage in the city today… and those circles under your eyes either mean you haven't been sleeping or you've been playing with your mother's stage make-up." Hopefully teasing him just a bit would get him to open up.

"I'm fine, really. Just a little tired…" He turned and reached for the coffee pot from the regular coffee maker, "It was too quiet to sleep with Mother and Alexis gone so I got up early and took advantage of the quiet to try to write…"

"Castle, you look like you haven't slept at all. You don't need more coffee. Your hands are already shaking from the caffeine, and you won't sleep tonight, either."

"With any luck, I won't…," mumbled while he was facing away, so that Kate really wasn't quite sure she'd heard him right.

"Did you just say… " but she left the thought unfinished and something else struck her. "Wait, what do you mean your Mother and Alexis were gone? You told me you were helping your mother. " The unasked question of why he told her that was in her eyes, and she folded her arms waiting to hear that explanation.

"Uh…," he stalled, grimacing at having tripped himself up that way. "I was a little rattled by … everything that happened. I just needed time to wrap my head around it, and I didn't want to worry you. I know it's been a bad time for you this year and I didn't want to add to it." He looked a little sheepish.

"Castle, you should have told me. I know that it had to have been awful to have someone you knew betray you like that. Sometimes the things that happen on this job stay with you a while. I know a little something about losing a lot of sleep this year." Kate didn't want to push, and this wasn't a good place to have this discussion. "Look, my shift is almost over. Why don't we go grab a burger and talk? My treat."

Castle hesitated. "It sounds good, but I've had a lot of caffeine and not much sleep, and to be honest, I don't think I'm up to some place crowded. I think I'd better just go home."

"I'll tell you what. We can get take-out and eat at my apartment. I think there's a Sci-Fi marathon on tonight. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone…" She hesitated then acted on her impulse quickly before she could change her mind. "If you go home, I know you're just going to drink more coffee and not sleep again. If you want to, you can sleep on my couch tonight… so long as you remember that I sleep with a gun." She added the last part with a threatening eyebrow and a smile, thinking of the first time she'd told him that when he'd insisted on staying in her apartment to protect her when her life had been threatened during a case.

He smiled slightly at her joking, then nodded agreement. But other than a cheerful good night for Esposito and Ryan, he was uncharacteristically quiet until they reached her apartment, dinner in hand. His silence was telling; Kate couldn't think of any time since she'd known him that he hadn't had something to say for that long.

Kate couldn't help but feel a twinge of apprehension as she opened the door to her apartment. He'd been to her apartment countless times before during a case, but not like this. Time together after a case that had made her feel vulnerable was something she tried to avoid. Dr. Burke had helped her to understand that she was afraid she'd allow herself to turn to him when she felt that way. Hopefully she was making the right choice now.

She ushered him in the door ahead of her and hoped that talking to him would help. She really hated to see him so shaken by what had happened.

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I'd really appreciate reviews, thanks!


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